Discerning

I am very excited because I found a bunch of Ghana adoption blogs.  I can't believe it has been a year since we started the whole adoption process.  There really isn't anything to update in our adoption process just that I am pregnant.  So, now we begin discerning.  We decided not to go ahead with it a few days ago but I had no peace with that decision.  So now I am praying and hoping and praying.  My husband needs a new job for his sanity.  One job he has found would actually come with a raise which would help ease the financial burden of doubling the size of our family. With three children added to our family, we will  need a new house and a new car. So we basically have to raise 7000 dollars to go ahead with the adoption financially.  How does one do that?  Of course, the easier choice is to say no to the adoption.  My husband is worried about me and rightfully so.  It is nice that he is considering my burden. Will I be able to handle going from one child to four with very little support network?  He works long hours.  The truth is we do have friends who have been super generous with their offers of support.  And I would have to call upon them.  I will have to be a little more resourceful and a little less concerned about how my house looks and what I cook for dinner.  I really believe that yes it will be hard but God will provide the grace as He has for so many other families.  Sister M said, "What you get will be your reward"  meaning L and T.  There are so many things that will have to happen to make this adoption possible, SO MANY.  There are SO MANY  obstacles. But I believe God would like us to go forward until the obstacle is insurmountable.  Then His Holy Will will be made crystal clear.