Date #2

On September 12th, we have our next date with the social worker.  It is so nice that things keep moving.  There was definitely a lull after that first appointment.

Garage Sale

 When we decided to adopt, we thought it would be best to sell all our baby things to raise a little money for the adoption.  How naive :) Yesterday was the garage and we raised --drum roll-- 220 dollars.  Quite funny!  Well I am still not finished selling things and hope to make a little more by selling online.  It was the hottest day of the summer, thus far, and we all got nicely toasted by the sun.  Xavi played with worms.  The worms had seen better days.

A Pet



Poor Litte Wormy



Ben looking dapper



Nagyi making a sale

Look at all the baby stuff!

Taking a break in the shade

Our First Visit With the Social Worker

Our first visit went well.  The social worker was very nice. Ben was calm, friendly and cracking jokes.  Good jokes.  I was nervous and intense.  Quite funny.  I guess I feel intense about it all so that is what I conveyed.  The next interview is about our community.  So that won't be difficult.  It is the relationship one that we are both dreading.  It will probably be good for us to hash through a few things.  But ugh! it isn't going to be fun talking about how we resolve conflicts etc.  So personal.  Anyway, it is a long process and it isn't going to happen fast enough no matter how prepared I am.

One Woman's Great Advice

I am ever greatful for the adoption blogging community.  After reading many articles about attachment and becoming a transracial family, I am thankful for this blog post He Adopted Me First.

An Interview

One of the requirements of the adoption courses we are taking is interviewing a family about their personal adoption experiences.  How fun it was for me to discover that one of my college classmates had adopted four children from China.  Paul's wife Kimberlie was kind enough to oblige me and tell me all about the realities of adoption.  It was nice to hear, in some ways, that there will be many challenges to face at the beginning (by beginning read first 2-3 years).  It is pretty difficult to fight a romantic view of adoption.  After all, it is kind of romantic to help an orphan and to give them shelter and to love them.  But it is also good to be reminded that you are dealing with a human soul in all its complexity.  And though you want to bond immediately with your child, this is unlikely to happen.  One always thinks about the child struggling to attach to a new family but the reality is the parent may have problems attaching to their adoptive child as well. A scary thought but something one must be prepared for or at least know that it is a possibility. Anyway, thank you Kimberlie for your time and your insights.

Garage Sale

We spent the weekend preparing our things for the garage sale.  It took some time to price items and sort through everything and ensure it was going to be displayed in a buy-worthy fashion down at the Quay. It was a lot of work but it is nice to know it is done and we can continue to work on our adoption courses.  I don't know how much we will gather in from our sale but at least we are creating some extra space in our home for eventual new little belongings.  Ben told me in jest that I won't be permitted near our garage sale because I will give our stuff away for cheap and he is going to make sure we don't undersell ourselves.  X's take on all of it,  "I don't want to sell our stuff."

I am trying not to think too much about the fact that I am selling all of X's things from when he was little.  It is a bit melancholic to think that a little baby will not pass by our door again but we had just five too many bins filled with baby stuff and what better time than now to rid ourselves of unnecessary things than when we are filled with the hope of buildin our family through adoption.

Our First Appointment

On August 16th, we have our first appointment with the social worker.  It will be nice to get the home study completed so we can move on with the adoption process.  The courses are going to provide for some interesting conversations around our home.  Like the one we had on discipline-
Ben: You don't discipline X.
Me: At all?
Ben: Blank stare.
Well, that is something to start seriously thinking about.

A Few Things

First off,  I finished Ray Guarendi's book.  It was great.  He is simple and to the point.  He doesn't make mountains out of molehills.  If you are considering adoption, it is well worth the read .  One thing he says is that the longer you wait to adopt the less likely it will happen. There is definitely something to be said for momentum.  When I look at my Lilypie sticker, I realize that it has been a month since we started and  we don't have much to show for it.  For me, this is a little discouraging.  Before we went on  holidays, I was so excited and motivated and now there is a bit of a lull.  However, we have done some paperwork like criminal record checks, reference letters.  Once we meet with the social worker, I think things will pick up a little, at least psychologically.